If not for my overwhelming penchant for procrastination, I would definitely postpone this entry until later in the week. However, I have recently discovered that part of being a teacher is: homework. That is, teachers must spend a lot of time outside of the classroom preparing lesson plans, researching new learning tools, and finding inspiration for fun, engaging, and ultimately effective lessons. Ugh. Homework! Never my strong suit and always a catalyst for my "manana syndrome", I really, really don't like doing my homework. So here I am, blogging early on in my so-far uneventful week instead of buckling down and planning the rest of my lessons. Oh well, I'm a creative person and I believe I work best under pressure. (that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!)
Last week was a nice change of pace. Pursuing my new found goal to finally make some friends, I went out almost every night last week. Thursday night drinks at the Irish Pub with Martin, my "park friend" as he will henceforth be known. Cheesecake and cafe on Wednesday with Alfre, the couchsurfer (exclusively in spanish). A stroll in the Park with Ana Friday afternoon, discussing education and the overwhelming stupidity of too many tourists (also in spanish). Lunch at Patrona on Saturday with my love to meet a nice expat couple from Austin, TX. A bottle of wine, the most delicious open-faced sandwiches with white wine and honey dipping sauce, and tiramisu for desert. Delicious! And finally, cream stout at the region's only microbrewery with Pat on Saturday night. Poor little Pat- he is clearly so deprived of good beer that he just couldn't stop drinking! I believe he woke up with his first hangover in Argentina on Sunday.
All of this activity was more stimulation than my social life has seen in months. Living with loneliness is often a part of the expat life, at least in the beginning. But I am hopeful that with the coming of the spring (at last!) I can finally stop asking: "Am I really going to be here for a year without making a single friend?" (a la Jess). It does require effort, and a little perseverance, but I feel like I am also beginning to blossom here. I hope that this can be the beginning of a more open-minded and positive chapter of our Mendocinian adventure.
Through all the isolation, I have learned that I should never take for granted the ease of making friends at home. It is truly remarkable to be able to establish an easy and ongoing connection with coworkers, friends of friends, and random strangers by striking up a simple conversation in an unexpected place. Here, it is a treat to speak in english now and then, and a ongoing challenge to try to communicate in spanish. But often, something is lost in both these exchanges. In english, I sometimes find myself talking simply to talk- forgetting my own view of the world in favor of actually having a conversation. In spanish, I always feel dull, uneducated, and timid because it is difficult to communicate complex ideas. Whenever we do make it "home", I vow to cherish the friendships I have and revel in the moments of happy serendipity when I can "click" with a new acquaintance. I want to be better, more open about allowing these casual acquaintances to blossom into friendships instead of allowing the moment to pass unnoticed.
In addition to discovering that teachers have to do homework and friendships should never be taken for granted, I have also been re-learning not to take things personally. The one book I begged my mother to send me was the one I have never left behind before: The Four Agreements. If you haven't read it, do so. If you have, then you know why it sits next to my bible on the bookshelf. The no-nonsense wisdom of this little book always comes as a revelation to me- no matter how many times I read it. And the lesson that always hits home the most is: Don't take it personally!
For me, this is especially important when traveling. There are a lot of stupid things that can really make you feel like crap when you are in a foreign place. For example, the shop girls here almost always laugh and make nasty comments about me. For a long time, this made me want to throw their clothes in their snotty faces and walk out. Or how my students laugh at my spanish, even though I routinely sit through hours of their crappy english every week with a benevolent (and sincere!) smile of encouragement on my face. Or the way that so many Argentine drivers try to run you over, while unapologetically flipping the bird/cursing/making vulgar suggestions- all for simply crossing the road when you have the right of way. Right of way? Now that is a foreign word in South America...
But ultimately, none of this behavior has anything to do with me. I didn't walk into the clothing store naked; I never make fun of my students; and I always look both ways (3-4 times) before attempting to cross the street. This kind of behavior, along with so many other things I don't like about Argentina, are completely detached from me, as a person. All I can do is strive to develop myself as a strong, unique, and independent individual and let the poor behavior of others slide off my back like I bathed in teflon. As much as I want to change the world for the better, the only person I really have control over is me. I am learning (again) that people always learn best by example, not by instruction. I strive to carry this philosophy into my classroom, into my friendships, and into my many less-than-ideal interactions with others every day. It's not me, it's you Argentina. But I still value our friendship.
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